Sara In Akko

The winter chill has caught up with us here meaning mommy is sick. And with our daytime care providers also out of commission, everyone is stuck at home with whatever sick-mommy can dream up as appropriate time-occupying activities. Although we haven't got a TV, we have laptops and YouTube and lots of cartoons that have never been seen by the likes of my kids before.

The 4 year old is familiar with the story of Aladdin so I figured I could give in and let her watch this one Disney-ized cartoon without scarring her for life. We skipped over some of the more fiery "Cave of Wonders" parts but somewhere towards the end of the movie I must have passed out only to be awoken by a very concerned child screaming.

"Mommy! Mommy! This is wrong! Look! Isn't this all wrong?"


Ah yes, we'd arrived at the scene where Jaffar has become an evil sorcerer and Jasmine his helplessly bound prisoner. The costume our heroine now dons is straight-up Princess Leih, but crafted by Disney so slightly more sexually explicit (cause she's a cartoon and that makes it OK).

I shook myself from my fevered stupor I began to think of the ensuing discussion. I figured it could be brief and PG but include some of the following points:

1). Jaffar is behaving very badly
2). It is never OK to force someone to do something they don't want to
3). Our bodies are just for us
4). Forcing a princess to be your sex-slave is wrong etc...

"No Mommy! Look at her hair. It's all wrong! That's not her dress! It's WRONG!"

Wait, we're concerned about a ponytail and a red version of her usual harem costume? Jasmine the sex-slave hasn't phased you? Don't you even care that this princess is in chains and in imminent danger?

Oh, alright then. 

In all honesty, I was slightly relieved that the world was still this simple. Evil exists in inconsistency and bad is just bad. By her estimation, Jaffar had not grown in his scoundrely evilness from the beginning of the movie to this point. Jaffar just had greater control over Jasmine and her ponytail now, and that's wrong.

Does this make my child insensitive to another's plight? I am sure it does not.

She responds appropriately to babies crying, her brother's playtime injuries and even sick mommy passed out on the couch. She is concerned when she feels story book characters are in danger and when Brobee is about to eat food off the floor. Women in chains kneeling before evil men is just slightly out of her frame of reference, the whole situation is wrong and she doesn't have the spectrum of evil to help her decide which is worse, not yet at least.

I suppose the outrage a grown adult feels over a cartoon depicting something reminiscent of the final enslavement of women is just not the appropriate response of a four year old. At least not this one. And you know what? I'm glad. She has a lifetime to fight misconceptions and discrimination, unfair treatment and objectification. Today she is allowed to be pissed about the inconsistency a couple of animators tried to perpetrate against her otherwise enjoyable cartoon.

The above Demotivational poster was found during a quick web search titles "Jasmine sex slave."

It seems there are plenty of results of pissed off people who also think that Jasmine, the sex-slave, is wrong. Or maybe they're just concerned about her hairdo?

I typically take steps to keep my personal blogging fairly light hearted and without much intrigue but was tempted today by something larger than a contest. But rather a really on point question raised by said contest. A Tallit up for grabs was posted recently by a blog I've enjoyed reading for some time here.

So I began to think about my own interest in Tallitot. For starters I grew up in an egalitarian community where women did not wear a Tallit, but as I grew the environment began to change rapidly. Although just five years prior my sister was not given a Tallit, by my Bat Mitzvah it was not a question of whether or not a girl would wear a Tallit but which Tallit she would wear.

The options were not plentiful, you could choose between a very plain blue striped pattern or a more elaborate blue striped pattern. All wool, all with machine embroidered Atara and all miniature versions of a full grown man's Tallit, sized to accommodate the petite stature of a girl about to become a tiny woman.

As I had demanded a dark navy blue invitation with the skyline of Jerusalem in a 3 hour negotiation stand-still with my mother, it was my natural choice that I would choose the blue Tallit with the elaborate Jerusalem skyline to match. I was told repeatedly for years to come that this was a pretty "Butch" Tallit for a young lady.

I didn't care.

I loved wearing my Tallit. I loved draping it around my body. I loved being a fully-fledged adult and member of the community and I took this responsibility with all the maturity I could muster. Wearing a Tallit gave me a sense of religious purpose, stepping into my own space to commune with my Maker.

But I do not wear my Tallit anymore. I have become a more observant Jew, as observant as I imagined myself to be as a tween. I am a Jewish wife and mother and woman in Israel and all of these labels give me new limitations and horizons in my development. My chosen community is millions of miles away from the community in which I was born and I can't see myself walking around on Shabbat in a Tallit with all the men of my small city. I can't say that I would care to. As a modern religious woman I've found that can take that sense of my own space with me at all times, I don't need this props and staging.

I could go back and forth on the debate; is it forbidden, no. Does that make it appropriate, perhaps? Can a woman even wear a Tallit? Well, can't she?

I feel very fortunate to have lived to see a point in religious renewal where well educated and well grounded women are able to ask important questions. Questions that are not in defiance of tradition saying boldly that men and women are no different (believe me, we're different) but rather questions that force us to think like our sages. When our world has changed so drastically, are we not at a different point in our religious needs. The Torah is unchanging and society cannot be a measure of how to observe the laws of our Torah but there are questions that simply aren't answered by assuming a woman is not obligated and therefore may... or may not... or should not.

I don't feel that I would ever be comfortable in the community I was raised in. Their observances are now so foreign to me that I am often at a loss of words when I return for brief visits.

Instead of answering important modern Halakhic questions based in law and religious discourse, I often find that the purveyors of religious knowledge are limited in scope and are unable to adequately answer the basics of Religious Law. Instead there is an odd mixture of fear and myth about rituals they have deemed unnecessary such as Kashrut, Taharat Mishpacha and a host of other fundamental issues. This doesn't mean I resent other Jews who choose to live a different path than I choose for myself and my family but rather I am saddened that the outright prevalence of deeming my practices archaic.

I don't flinch at a woman in a Tallit and Kippa who is called Rabbi, but I feel a kindred purpose with those wearing a Tichel or beanie and are as well versed in living Judaism and Halakha as any man who never questioned whether or not he would wear a Tallit.

I hope that somehow my coming from this particular community widens their tolerance and love of other Jews as well as my own Ahavat Yisrael.

I guess I've arrived at a point where I can say a Jew is a Jew is a Jew.

Thanks to A Mother in Israel for the soul search.

I'd love to hear your comments if you've got them.

Not so long ago my life was not comprised of a husband, children, family business or blog.

At one point I lived in a large house in the city that housed a collection of eco-do-gooders. Conscious communists of the French variety (born into commune life, not self-declared), bicycle messengers, and the other city-dweller sorts of earthy young adults who drove bio-diesel burners or never drove at all. We had the kind of transient roommates that are best described as couch surfers who seemed to drift effortlessly through life without a mailing address.

Everyone held stable-ish jobs for 20-somethings. One was even the head of a large corporation's programing department. His paycheck certainly wasn't the reason he lived in a communal house.

Some of these roommates and transients belonged to the local bike gang. Not quite Hell's Angels. The gang's activities included rehabbing bicycles to become load bearing and be sent to Developing Nations, creating environmental awareness through the city with their rides that closed down major thoroughfares, creating found-art of everything and anything and....

Dumpster Diving... for food. Also known as Dumpster Dining.


Our home often hosted large dinners of coworkers from an environmental watch group that could reach up to 20+ people on any given weeknight. Rent plus utilities and normal groceries rarely accommodate feeding that many others in your home regularly. I won't describe the incredible amount of food large grocery networks are forced by law or policy to throw away daily or the steps they take to ensure that their food isn't accessible once tossed to the dumpster, but you can imagine that every item that does not sell from your local Whole Foods will eventually end up in their dumpsters out back.

If that food is fortunate, and willing hands are fortunate enough to reach it in time the food may end up on someone's plate as a perfectly good meal. This photo of the found food is taken from an interview with a few college-freegans in MN who seem to express the same sort of attitude as my former roommates.

I never ate a veggie gone bad, there was nothing on anyone's plate that had turned or soured. This was nourishment with intrinsic value both nutritionally and monetarily to our huge dinner tables. In fact, you'd be surprised at the way organic produce looks when finally given the heave ho from the aisles; wrapped, labeled, dated, edible. Most grocers even dispose of their expired items in a re-user friendly way quite naturally as each section takes care of their own clean-up, they bag and separate food items by department.

My life is long since removed from these re-purposed dinner tables. Here in Akko, there are not any alternative bike gangs running around screaming for the environment, or groups of youths jumping into dumpsters to rescue high quality organic produce that has sat for it's one day in the sun. There are no locks on our dumpsters to keep these alt-kids out.

But Akko is a terribly poor city. Our citizens are on average old and many live well under the poverty line even on government assistance. Many elderly collect bottles and cans from the receptacles for the tiny refund they can receive in the supermarkets. There are also quite a few salvagers who look for scrap out of the 40 year old electronics that are thrown to the curb. Although there are assistance organizations that take second-hand clothing for redistribution it is often most common for clothes to be left folded neatly in large bags and placed next to the dumpsters so someone in need might take these items quietly in the night without the shame of visiting an aid organization.

My home is directly behind the supermarket which, for comparisons, is roughly the size of a large American 7-11 with just 4 aisles. Our market opens at 7AM and by 8AM all of the cleaning of the produce aisle and the shipments for the new day have taken place. The old produce, often visibly rotten (high heat and high humidity are not the friends of such products) is brought out to the dumpster. By 8AM when I walk my daughter to preschool the entire back end of the market is covered with elderly waiting for this food to be disposed of so that they can toss it into their market carts to be taken home.

Today was the first day my 4 year old gave any serious notice to this matter. Although she is generally a very thoughtful and caring child she has learned from well intentioned adults that something unclean is labeled "foo dirty."

And so she began with her questioning, "Mama, isn't that a bad man? He is playing in the garbage. Foo. That's not nice."

My heart breaks a little every time I see someone's grandmother digging through our trash or someone's grandfather jumping in after the spoiled tomatoes but I had no idea how to explain in a Jewish and civilly responsible way to my child what she was witnessing.

Jewish law goes very far to explain that you are obligated to provide charity to others in need, even when you yourself are in need. Throughout Israel you will even notice that people do not throw out bread, it is left in the open for the poor to take. And overall, that while you are to provide for others in need, you must grant people their self respect which sometimes means allowing them to do what is necessary to survive. Slipping someone a few bucks to go into the market and buy food might seem like a reasonable action to the untrained bystander, but that very action might take away the person's dignity in accepting charity.

And so today I have to prepare myself for a talk with a four year old about the facts of life, that people in her city do go hungry and that people who look like her grandparents often wait for food to be thrown in a dumpster so they can feed their families. I know that this is true of other major cities, even in the lucrative suburbs of my youth, but here our poverty is apparent and should be confronted head on. Even if that means starting with my own children.

This is a short documentary called Meet the Freegans
Britain has become serious about reducing food waste in the home, great for conservation ideas

This year has seen a continued growth of National Service participation among Arab youths within their communities. Akko has been awarded for the exceptional services offered by it's Arab youths in their dedication to their community.

I can't think of anything more important to emphasize than this achievement. Many Israelis and foreign onlookers are quick to criticize the community service offered by youths within the Jewish sector.

"Why don't they do more for all the residents of the entire city?"

I have heard this question before. This question implies that a teen who works in a Jewish school has neglected the needs of the Arab sector. This question also shows that it is being asked by a person who doesn't see the larger picture, the scope of need within a city quite like Akko. It is layered and complex and certainly not as simple as if one population is being served than another must be neglected.

I have often wondered how people could believe that a single solution would possibly fit for an entire city and it's many needs. There is no such magical one-size fits all solution to societal distress. It takes many partners to care for an entire city and it's varied population.

The rising number of Arab youths concerned about their own communities and volunteering to better the situations of children and families in need is exemplary. Its scope of impact, creating safe afternoon options for 70 children 5 days a week, is a service this city is truly in need of.

See the full article in Hebrew here

We came across a fantastic fair-trade shop within the Old City the other day. Aside from functioning as an occupational training center for adults with special needs there are some pretty neat things like artwork and wares by other fair-trade practicing craftsmen and artists with a variety of disabilities or impairments . Unlike other rehabilitation centers that are just "simulating" work experiences "Shop for Meaning" teaches the participants to manage the store with help and guidance where needed.(I'll link the store when their site goes up fully)

The idea of dignified work for all and assisting people to provide for themselves reminded me of Yad LaKashish or Lifeline for the Old in Jerusalem that now employs 300 elderly poor and mostly immigrants in supporting themselves with dignity well into their old age. The thing that I have always loved about visiting the workshops of Lifeline is that they find a use, a purpose, for every member of the organization even as age advances, motor skills diminish, disability overcomes youth and vigor… these people arrive every morning happy to be of use when they would otherwise be overlooked and marginalized by society.

In a country that is well known for its lack of tact, being chronically un-PC, I get really excited to see Israelis working together in innovative ways with a savvy business slant that allows me to take home a small piece of the meaning from the gift shop at the end of the tour.

There should always be a gift shop at the end of the tour!